Help Links

Fort Refuge forums and chatrooms do not substitute for crisis hotlines or professional counseling. We care, but we are a peer community, and can't offer advice, interventions, or referrals. Please see the numbers and links below: they have trained volunteers who can help.
Select Your Country:
         

Abuse:

phoneChild Abuse
Help if you're involved in abuse inflicted on a child (someone under 18yo) by an adult. It can be physical, sexual, emotional/verbal, or neglect.
Emergency - 111
Report Suspected Child Abuse:

Child Protective Services
the place to call if you're concerned about a child's safety.
1-800-843-5678 - cybertipline.org
Report online sexual exploitation of children: solicitation, trafficking, child pornography, etc - things you bump into online and have no 3D information on.
Citizens Advice Bureau (CAB)
How to officially report actual or suspect abuse and neglect...includes situations where you have a mandated responsibility to do this
Someone to talk to:

0800 376 633 - youthline.co.nz
Hotline, chatline, text, and email support for youth.
0800 942 8787 - whatsup.co.nz
Hotline and chatline for kids, teens, and young adults.
0800 54 37 54 - kidsline.org.nz
Hotline for kids under 14, open 4-6PM weekdays.
0800 299 100 - skylight.org.nz
Trauma, loss, and grief hotline for youth.
0800 568 856 - parenthelp.org.nz
Help with all parenting challenges from those everyday situations to the most serious issue of child abuse.
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phoneDomestic Abuse
Help if you're involved in abuse inflicted on one adult by another, while both share the same household. For example, physical abuse by an intimate partner, or abuse of elderly parent by their adult child.
Emergency - 111

0800 456 450 - areyouok.org.nz
National group providing resources and help for those involved in family violence (perps and victims of all genders).
0508 744 633 - 2shine.org.nz
Support, information, and referrals for men and women, young and old, victims and perpetrators; multilingual support available.
0800 733 843 - womensrefuge.org.nz
National women’s organisation committed to preventing and supporting women and children living with violence.
0800 725 463 - seniorline.org.nz
Information for older people to make decisions about staying at home, retirement villages, homecare, day care and rest homes.
0800 688 5463 outline.org.nz
support for LGBTQI+ community.
hotpeachpages.net
International directory of 3d help available to victims of domestic violence: shelters, lawyers, therapy, child care, support groups, etc.
workandincome.govt.nz
benefit finder, to see which benefits you qualif for.
More about Domestic Abuse: local_library theaters shopping_cart
phoneRape and Sexual Assault
Help if you're involved in non-consensual intercourse (vaginal or otherwise), where the perpetrator forces it on the victim against their will and the victim is helpless to escape.
Emergency - 111

0800 883 300 - rpe.co.nz
Hotline and referrals to a sexual assault support centre near you.
0800 611 116 - health.govt.nz
Assessment and triage, health advice, and information on health services throughout New Zealand.
Sex Offender Registry
More about Rape and Sexual Assault: local_library theaters shopping_cart

Mental Health:

phoneSelf Inflictions
Help if you're struggling with suicide, self-harm, eating disorders, addictions, or any other non-accidental behaviors that are harmful to your body.
Emergency - 111
Suicide:

0508 828 865, 0800 543 354 or (09) 5222 999 - lifeline.org.nz
24/7 crisis hotline.
0800 726 666 or (04) 473 9739 - samaritans.org.nz
24/7 suicide hotline; no referrals.
spinz.org.nz
Details of help available including for those supporting others experiencing suicidal ideation.
befrienders.org
worldwide directory of suicide hotlines.
Addictions:

0800 787 797 (or text 8681) - alcoholdrughelp.org.nz
24/7 hotline, textline, and chatline offering support and referrals.
0800 778 778 - quit.org.nz
Helpline for smoking addiction.
0800 654 655 (or text 8006) - gamblinghelpline.co.nz
24/7 hotline and textline for people who struggle with gambling.
More about Self Inflictions: local_library theaters shopping_cart
phoneEmotional Crises
Hotlines, chatlines, find-a-therapist, various other organizations that can help if you're struggling with mental health but aren't acutely suicidal.
Emergency - 111
Someone to talk to:

0800 211 211 (social services)
0800 299 100 (trauma, loss and grief; 9-5PM weekdays)
0800 14 269 4389 (Anxiety)
0800 611 116 - health.govt.nz
Assessment and triage, health advice, and information on health services throughout New Zealand.
talkingworks.co.nz
directory of mental health professionals in New Zealand.
mentalhealth.org.nz
List of 24/7 services offering support to those dealing with mental health and related issues...includes emergency and hot line details.
0800 111 757 (or text 4202) - depression.org.nz
Hotline and resources for those experiencing depression.
0800 269 4389 - anxiety.org.nz
Anxiety helpline.
0800 732 825 - supportingfamilies.org.nz
Help for families and whanau supporting a loved one who has a mental illness.
familybudgeting.org.nz
Details to access on line and face to face budgeting help. Also to access useful resources and videos.
7cups.com
24/7 free one on one chat about anything that bothers you, with someone who will listen unconditionally.
BetterHelp.com
online counseling by US-licensed mental health professionals, $35-70 per week flat price, talk to your counselor as much or as little as you wish: through messages, chat, voice, or video chat.
More about Therapy: local_library theaters shopping_cart

Tech Support

phoneFort Members and Visitors
What we offer, how to contact us, guidelines, FAQ, TOS, lost passwords, etc
Intro
Basic info on what is abuse and how Fort is supposed to help with the aftermath of it.
What we offer
All the stuff we have here at Fort at a glance.
Sitemap
List of all the pages on this website.
Public Forum
No registration necessary, feel free to post as much or as little as you wish. Helpful for those who don't really want to join our community at this time, and for those who can't, for example secondary survivors.
Guidelines
Community rules, good to read if you're considering joining us.
Privacy Policy
So that you know what we record and why.
Terms of Service
Legal stuffs.
Chats' schedule
Times, locations, and topics of next hosted chats.
Lost passwords
Link to recover your account password if you forgot it.
FAQ
All sorts of tech questions on how to use forums and chat: where to post, how to change your signature, what are the castles, etc.
Speak To Mods
Open to registered users only - a place to reach moderators if something makes it uncomfortable for you to use the site: someone is bothering you, you can't find your inbox, aren't sure why your post was moved, etc. Posts are visible to you and mod team only, and it's the best way to communicate with us.
Contact us
A way for you to get in touch with site admins; please keep in mind that we are not counselors, we only maintain this site.
phoneOnline Safety
A few pages with basics on how to stay safe online and avoid getting cyberstalked.
Cyberstalking: Why and How
Who engages in online stalking, why, how, and what to do if you are a victim of internet harassment. Real life examples and links for further reading.
Cyberstalking: Staying Safe On Abuse Support Sites
Practical tips on avoiding online harassment, stalking, and trolls, while using online support groups for abuse survivors.
Top Five Scams On Abuse Support Sites
Real life examples of cons that abuse survivors are especially vulnerable to while using online support groups.
Glossary
Words commonly used on abuse sites that might leave you puzzled.
phoneIs there a better site for me?
No site works for everyone; if Fort isn't a good match for you, see if the sites below might work better.
7cups.com
Instant chat with a "listener" about anything that bothers you. You can become a listener too, if you want to. Would work a lot better than Fort if you want to chat NOW, are looking to talk to people one-on-one, and like to give/receive advice. It's against our guidelines to tell anyone what to do, think, or feel - we believe in letting people make their own choices.
malesurvivor.org
We have a lot of male members at Fort, but some things can feel too awkward to discuss in a mixed gender community. If that's how you feel - malesurvivor.org is a busy site that has men only, so you can have some privacy for those extra sensitive issues.
christiansurvivors.com
Online community for Christian survivors of any form of abuse. We recognize that faith is a powerful healing tool for many people, but Fort is a non-denominational site, many of us have had bad experiences with religion, so we limit all religious references to one forum folder only. If you like to bring up religion in most conversations (or if you're just more comfortable with people of the same faith) - christiansurvivors.com might be a good solution.
pandys.org
Great site for survivors of rape or child sexual abuse: busy community and very good resources. Guidelines differ from Fort: no DID allowed, telling others what to do is encouraged, blocking people who get on your nerves is not allowed, foul language is OK within reasonable limits; there's a forum for supporters (aka secondary survivors) too.
survivorship.org
Community for survivors of ritual abuse, mind control, and torture. Membership is paid, but the site has some free resources too. We have a forum folder for religious abuse, but you have to be actively participating in other forums for a month to gain access to it, and the topic is off-limit in chat. Moreover, we believe that, although abuse perps often claim to have supernatural powers or secret technologies to manipulate your mind, in reality "mind control" is just not possible.
loveshack.org
Community focused on relationships, including (but not limited to) abusive ones. If you don't really want to leave your partner, but just have problems with how you're being treated (e.g. s/he lies, cheats, drinks, plays computer games too much, etc) - or if you're heartbroken after a breakup and don't know if you'll ever find love again - loveshack.org is a good place to discuss these issues.
psychopathfree.com
Community dedicated to discussing psychopaths/narcissists in your life: learning to spot them, guesstimating what they are thinking and why they act the way they do, finding ways to manipulate their behavior, etc. We do not believe in this at Fort, and it's against our guidelines to talk of anyone other than yourself, so if this is what you're into - psychopathfree.com would be a better match.
suicideforum.com
Pro-life community focused on mental health, depression, and suicide prevention. Membership is free and anonymous, open to anyone over 13yo. Suicide threats or descriptions of SI not allowed.
7 Tips On Choosing An Online Support Group
Basic things to look at, to avoid frustration and find the site that's a good match for you.

The hardest thing to see is what is in front of your eyes.
~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
This page was last updated on May 21st, 2017
© 2008-2017 Fort Refuge. Please don't reproduce without permission.